How often do we let fear stop us from trying, from living and experiencing life? Would you rather live in fear and have regrets or live in fear but have NO regrets?
I used to have a lot of fear; fear was probably my hobby. I fear talking to people, I fear driving after a horrible accident, I fear what my friends or family think, I fear that I look fat and ugly, I fear I cannot make it in life, I fear public speaking, I fear the food that I have picked taste horrible, I fear I am wasting time, I fear that I am not doing enough, I fear getting a hair cut and... the list could go on and on.
If I fear talking to people and fear public speaking, you must be wondering how do I survive in my field as my work as a psychologist requires me to speak to people, right? Although I am pretty much ok with talking to people now; sometimes I myself do have that wonder in mind too! And here is what I have learned about myself ...
As I learn about myself, I discovered that I still HAVE the fear, especially speaking in public. Before any public events happen, I would feel the fear and anxiety tremendously; worrying that I would not be able to say what needs to be said; worrying that I have brain fog and not able to speak a word etc. The anxiety is horrible! Sometimes, I even wonder why did I want to do it at the first place.
But then I think to myself, if I run away each time, when will it be the right time to start? If fear never goes away, how can I experience MORE in life? Am I going to stay in this narrow, boring square box and continue to complain about everything for the rest of my life? Well, somehow the calling or passion within me is so strong that I have to do what I had to do in order to create change despite the fear.
If you have attended my talk, I would usually tell you the truth that I was nervous at the beginning, but you might think that I am lying because some how it just turns out well and I look pretty normal.
So how did I do that? All I did was to feel the fear and DO IT anyway. It is just that simple (well, maybe not THAT simple because it requires a lot of trying, failing and trying again). I learned that negative emotions will always be there, it's either we succumb to it and let it take control of us OR we can ignore and NOT believe in those negative emotions and just do what needs to be done. As you start taking action, the negative emotions will slowly quiet down and subside. And then your action becomes easy, you learn that you actually CAN!
Life has been given to us, we have every day to live and we die when it's time to die. Every day is a new day to better ourselves. But often people use each NEW day to complain about yesterday and the lousy feeling from yesterday persist and they begin to wonder why life sucks ...
Life can be interesting if you know what you want.
Life can be fun if you know what to do.
Life can be good when you know how to think.
Life can be fulfilling when you know how to feel.
Life is your call! Stop waiting for that somebody to save you; stop waiting for that major bad event to happen in order for you to do something about life; stop waiting for that ONE DAY because that one day really wouldn't come; it's only NOW and today. Take action so that something can happen.
So what is it that you have always wanted to do but you are waiting? Waiting for the courage to come? Waiting for that 'someone' to help you? Waiting for the right time? Don't wait any longer because waiting does not create any change; it is only through DOING that something can be changed.
Life may seem long at the beginning, but it gets shorter which each and every passing day. And there will come a day when it hits you that life HAS become short; and that's when another wave of panic comes because you realize you no longer have that fit, strong and healthy body mind to allow you to do what you have finally realized you should to do ...